Kim's Kounseling Korner

Dear Kimberly,

I am a figure competitor and have done quite a few shows, even some at National level. I have been dating my current boyfriend for two years.

It has been very difficult for me to compete as he is not very
supportive at all. He is a male bodybuilder himself and has only 2 shows in the last 2 years. We argue all the time and he wants me to stop competing but I feel competing is an passion that I enjoy so much right now. I look forward to stepping on stage every time and enjoy the show so much! But it is damped by the fact that my boyfriend does not want me to compete. Even if I do win he won't even say much and he is constantly trying to wisk me away from socializing with other people in the industry. He also does not want me to do any shoots and if he does approve he wants to be at the shoot watching my every move! I love him but don't know what to do, it seems things are getting harder and harder and I want to keep on competing and being someone in this industry!

Erin
Phoenix, AZ

Kimberly Martin

Thanks for the question Erin. You are definitely not the only woman (or man) to have an unsupportive partner.

Do NOT stop competing for him. If you quit for him you will always resent him and you will be unhappy because you gave up a passion of yours.

It's obvious he wants to control your every move and is very possessive. When you succeed it seems to make him jealous.
A relationship like this can be toxic...like a cancer...and it will eat away at your spirit.

If you plan on getting married to this man it will only get worse. Real love means wanting the other person to be happy and empowering them to be the best person they can be-not holding them back or suppressing who they are. I know you want this relationship to work, but sometimes you need to purge people from your life that don't have your best interest at heart...surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Hope this helps!

Kim
kimberlymartin69@comcast.net

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